Lesson 101: How to 'piss off' your apartment mates

cartoonstock

Don't know how to piss off your apartment mate? Here are 10 simple guide for you..guarantee 100% effective.

1. Never clean the mess you made in the living room, bathroom, kitchen, his/her room.

2. Never help to take out the thrash.

3. If your apartment only has 1 parking lot, conquer it. Park your car and let it stays there for weeks.

4. Conquer the T.V remote control. If you have Astro, conquer it too, even better if you're not the one paying the monthly bill.

5. Always pay late your share of the monthly rent. Let them pay for you first.

6. Use electricity and water excessively. You'll eventually divide the bill equally among you.

7. Borrow money or stuff from your housemates and return it 3 days after they've asked for it. If they didn't asked, pretend nothing had happen.

8. Enter their room freely and get mad when they enter yours. If they lock the door, pick it.

9. Always ride their car if you want to go anywhere. Make sure they're the one driving.

10. If you want to use your car, also, make sure they're the one driving.

Honk! Signal la! Mat rempit!

This is going to be a very long entry...

Hmm.. Ok la..direct to the point, I'm talking about the difference in Driving attitude between Sabah and West Malaysia (I'm not generalizing but it's the truth), you West Malaysian drivers/motorists are too...how should I put it.. obnoxious? The word too harsh? Nah, that's the most polite word I can think of in describing your driving attitude.

If I were to use not too polite words, they will be **** ******* ******* ******* ********!!
Sorry, I have to censored that..

I'm not saying that Sabah's drivers are saints, but compared to you guys, you make us look like saints. No offence okay..I'm just saying the truth and sometimes the truth hurts.

Why? See the checklist below and evaluate yourself. And it doesn't matters weather you're a Sabahan or West Malaysian, if you do these thing, you're **** ******* ******* ******* ********!! hehe..

Signal la...talingung..

1. You never signal when you are: turning left or right, changing lane, overtaking, entering a junction or stopping by the road. I always kena with this one. Damn!

source

2. You honk even for the slightest jam or when someone pulled his/her car by the road. Even when the car in front didn't move the moment the traffic light turn green, you also honk like mad. It's not F1 race la! You honk everyone that gets in your way. Be it old folks, kids, cat, dog, alien and even girls regardless of how they look. Ok, the last one is a bit over exaggerated. But still, you honk everyone.

its zebra line la.. source

3. You never give way if someone want to cross the road or a car want to go out from a junction. Instead, you deliberately drive your car faster. Even in front of a school, hospital, anywhere, you'd rather speed up than let anyone cross the road safely.

SMS on your car screen. source

4. You talk on your mobile phone without hands free set. Some even SMS while driving. And you don't even care!

Speed..!!

5. Motorist rarely wait for the traffic light to go green. And these Mat Rempit are just retarded bunch of retarded retard. Ever wonder why there are no Mat Rempit problems in Sabah? I'll tell you why, because guys who use motorbike are seen as 'no standard' by Sabahan girls. See, put that standard in every girl thought and no more Mat Rempit. Make them unable to score girls.

ramp car

6. Overtaking anywhere possible. I mean literally anywhere. When turning into a junction, in a jam, in a narrow space, at a corner, at a sharp corner, at an even sharper corner. And not even signaling!

more in failblog.org

7. Parking a car like you fail your parking test during your driving license test. To add matters worst, you actually scratch others car parked beside yours. I already kena with my previous car and now my new car also already has this 'kiss' mark at the rear bumper and I don't even know who did it!!

aiyo..

8. Using a halogen or HIDs head light. I switch to high light every time I see them. Trying to look cool, yeah but you're burning my retina you *****!

uh..

9. Tailgating. If it was in a traffic jam, ok, but this is when I am on the highway and on the left lane which is the 'not too fast but moderate fast' lane. Want to go fast use the middle or right lane la..

There are more, but these are the most notoriously common attitude that I encounter on the road here in the wild wild west. When I say common, it meant I encounter them every time I drive.

In Sabah, even driving in KK, it's far less common to see such obnoxious behavior. Not that Sabahan don't do it. Just that you guys do it better than Sabahan driver. And no, it's not a compliment.

I'm still kinda piss off with that **** ******* ******* ******* ********!! who ever he/she might be for 'kissing' my car.

"How to.." for dummy..I meant, newbie..

random pic

I've been busy for the past 2 weeks. That's why I haven't blog anything for about a week..What did I do? Organizing an event. A dinner for anniversary event to be precise. Not too big though..around 10-11 tables only..But I was the leader so..yeah, I learn new things, some were bitter and some were sweet. And no, it was not work related event. It's an NGO kinda event..

What I've learnt..

1. Make sure you have a good, proactive, reliable team member. Thank God I had such team.

2. Make sure you have plan B for any unforeseen situations.

3. Assigned each team member with the right task. But make sure you're also able to handle it just in case for the unforeseen situations. Member getting sick etc.

4. Make sure you have all of the team members number for update. And it might come in handy if there is a 'nice' girl in your team. ; ) ..but that's another story..focus on the event first ok..

5. Always update. But don't make it look too pushy or demanding.

6. No 'tukang arah' image. Very Important.

7. Ask for help if you face a problem. Don't try to be a 'know all' kind of person.

8. Multi-tasking is a very important skill. Learn it.

9. Be firm with your decision but not firm as in ego or kia-su. Anything goes wrong, don't blame others. Be a man....or woman.

10. I can only think of nine...hehe

p/s: I'm a newbie in this organizing event stuff..